• Chris Steele

The Boy Crisis & The Father Solution

Bulletin Article -- Sunday, June 20, 2021


"Father” reaches far beyond the biological function. Our society testifies to the sad truth of men reproducing without any intention of loving, caring for, teaching, or guiding their offspring to be emotionally balanced and productive members of society. Unfortunately, this leads to a repetitive cycle for generations to come.

There are circumstances beyond one’s control that leave children without a father in the home. We commend the mothers who face the uncertainty and frustration of bringing up their children without a husband or male figure to help.

“The Boy Crisis,” authored by Warren Farrell, is a disturbing study on the alarming truths of boys who have been deprived of their dads, whether it be a total absence of a father or a less-involved father. The statistics are very high that these boys will feel neglected, depressed, and suicidal. Many will act out, using alcohol and drugs, bullying, committing crimes, hurting others, and ending up in prison.

The most extreme statistics from Farrell’s work are on mass shooters in the United States. Ninety-eight percent of people who “carry out mass shootings at schools, in particular, tend to be boys who are suicidal, depressed, and dad-deprived,” said Mr. Farrell. “It’s a crisis of fathering,” he added.

There is hope for our nation’s families. God, our heavenly Father, made fatherhood and He defines it. A father is to be the head of his family (Ephesians 5:22-33; 6:1-4). It is a duty to which he submits, not out of selfishness or pride, but out of the sincere desire to be an obedient son of the Father.

A godly father makes sure he offers wise counsel. His children need to know how to walk down the path of righteousness. He leads them in that journey. God said this of Abraham. “For I have known him, so that he may command his children and his household after him, that they keep the way of the LORD, to do righteousness and justice, that the LORD may bring to Abraham what He has spoken to him” (Genesis 18:19). The wise man said, “Train up a child in the way he should go; and when he is old, he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6).

A good father is a good provider, but he is not judged by how much money he makes or how many material provisions he buys for his family. A faithful father works hard. Sometimes the wife works outside the home as well (Proverbs 30:10-31). He will partner with her in using wisdom in the family’s finances.

Families need men who are strong, reliable, and confident. At the same time, godly fathers are men who are loving, tender-hearted, and understanding of the needs of their wives and children. Having an intimate relationship with his heavenly Father, he will know how to treat those of his own family. “As a father pities his children, So the Lord pities those who fear Him” (Psalms 103:13) Paul compared his feelings and treatment of his brethren with the tender characteristics of mothers (1 Thessalonians 2:7).

The Bible uses fatherhood in the requirements of elders of the church. How one handles his children, and family affairs will qualify or disqualify a man from serving as an elder (1 Timothy 3:4, 5). As elders watch for the souls under their care, faithful, godly fathers will never forget or neglect the responsibilities they have for their families.

“The Boy Crisis” paints a sad picture of boys and young men in their struggles without fathers. But, it contains some wisdom and solutions as well. Although some have said it’s the most important book of the 21st century, people of God know better. We will never find all the answers we need for families until we use the wisdom of the Creator of fathers, mothers, and children from the greatest book ever written—the Bible. —Chris

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