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  • Writer's pictureJohn Allan

Earl Nightingale is credited with...

Earl Nightingale is credited with saying if you want to be successful at something, observe what everybody else is doing and do the exact opposite.

Naturally there are limits to this. You shouldn’t hold your breath because everybody else is breathing, or stop eating because others take time to dine...

But there is wisdom in not doing something just because other people are doing it. The majority often are wrong: they were in Noah’s day, and today. Most deliberately walk on the broad way instead of the strait and narrow (Matthew 7:14).

I was thinking about this “opposite” concept recently when I realized its application in the matter of intimacy.

Without being crude...there is a component of marriage that God intended only for marriage. Hebrews 13:4 plainly states “Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.”

Since so many people ignore the Bible’s teaching on fornication and adultery, you could look at the “mainstream” philosophies on the matter, observe the opposite, and be correct!

But what about intimacy among married couples?

Although it isn’t talked about as often, it is widely known among both secular and religious people, that many marriages are plagued with problems stemming from neglecting marital intimacy. For some reason many couples will engage in too much intimacy before marriage but not enough after.

In contrast, research has discovered marriages with the fewest problems tend to be those where intimacy is not neglected.

While it might surprise you, the Bible gives plain instruction on this topic: “Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.” -1 Corinthians 7:3-5 (NKJV)

This is not a pleasant topic to write about. But it is relevant for Christians. To God be the glory that he knows what is best for us, and has instructed us for our good.

May we have the wisdom to follow God’s design on all matters, even if the world refuses.

Give it some thought,


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